HE LOVES ME NOT

Real Life

Following up on my last entry "Black Women: Ugly to the Bone" on Dr. Kanazawa's research about black women being genetically inferior when it comes to physical attraction I couldn't help, but wonder how far these negative presumptions about black women spanned. Much to my disdain I didn't have to look far for these negative connotations of black women, in fact I only needed to look at my own counterparts, black men. I rummaged through video after video on YouTube posted by black male vloggers ranting of their hatred for the black woman. One comment made by a vlogger whose web handle I can't recall stated that "the world views black women as confused whores".  Here's one example out of the many negative videos about black women from black men: (warning: there is adult content and some explicit language in this video)

Test of  Truth

I decided to run a quick and small experiment about the public's opinions on black women using the world wide web. I utilized Google by typing a simple phrase in the search box of Google's homepage. The phrase was "black women are..." and I allowed Google to show me suggestions according to what other people had already searched about black women beginning with the phrase "black women are.." and just to have something to compare my results with I also typed in "white women are..." to see if the results would be similar or completely different and here's what I've learned about how the world views black women:

 (These are  snapshot  reflections of what people search on Google and by no means a reflection on Google itself)

 Test Results

My rapid fire small experiment has shown that the public opinion of black women is that we are: 

• easy
• crazy    
• gross
• mean

While in comparison white women are viewed as:

• beautiful
• easy
• overrated
• the best  

Note: Notice that as it concerns black women there is not a single positive adjective that can be seen to describe them while in contrast white women have a few positive things searched about them.   

Fueling The Fire

 

What or who is responsible for the negative connotations of black women? Is it the media and entertainment that is affecting not only the way the world views us, but most importantly the way our black men view us? I.e. guilty pleasure shows like Basket Ball Wives where black women are portraying themselves as loud, promiscuous, and violent? Or is it the negatively misleading statistics about black women, i.e.: black women never getting married, being less desirable, having children out of wedlock at alarming rates...These are all statistics that try to show why black women are so unworthy and unwanted, but do you really believe everything you hear or see? I challenge my readers to look into these statistics and find out how the research was conducted and just how fair the damning of black women through statistical data and scientific study "truly" is.

Check out this link to gain some insight:  http://elegantblackwoman.blogspot.com/2011/03/misleading-statistics-about-black-women.html

Black Women Crucified

I've heard black men say time and time again whether on YouTube, radio, or TV that black women have "bad attitudes", "black women are angry", or "black women are too ghetto". I look around at the black women I've known in my life and wonder why is it that a few bad apples spoil the bunch -only- when it comes to black women. Black women are constantly crucified as if we're the only ones who are ever angry, overweight, on welfare, do any wrong, and then not only are we the only ones it's not just some of us these stereotypes are generalized about all black women. To add insult to injury we not only have to deal with the infliction of this pain from the world, but the very ones we expect to defend and protect us turn around and dismiss, belittle, and degrade us too.

Negative affects of black men publicly bashing black women:

• It shows the world that black people do not have a leader
• It's shows the world that there is no solidarity within the black race
• This teaches younger generations of blacks to devalue themselves
• It causes black women to feel insecure and unworthy of love
• It demonstrates the lack of self love, consequently leading to the destruction of functional black families.

Below is a short video trailer titled Why We Hate Black Women. I suggest watching it -fully- because it is a compilation of many short clips and if you should attempt to skip over sections you'll most likely miss the most intriguing moments in the video. It directly sums up what this topic is about without any sugarcoating the issue

 A Glance at Interracial Dating and Black Men

The popular opinion on black women's stance as it concerns interracial dating seems to be that black women are angry at white women for stealing our men. Tut-tut my little nuts, I beg to differ. I believe what angers black women about interracial dating is not the white women at all it's the black men and what they say about black women. Here are some points about what angers some black women about black men dating outside their race:

• From personal experience I can say that each time I've spoken to or listened to conversations about black men dating outside their race the reason is never solely because they love the woman they're with regardless of color. The reason they're with the woman of another races is always coupled with negative statements about black women, it's never "I with this woman because I love her" it's more of  I love this woman because I hate black women and can't deal with them; therefore I quit black women. That doesn't sit well with black women for obvious reasons.
• Secondly, in many instances black men will settle for less or should I say change their level of standards when it comes to dating a woman outside of their race. I'll utilize my husbands friend who shall be called John for example out of respect for his privacy...when John is interested in a black woman she has to be absolutely perfect from head to toe, physically, mentally, just perfect no flaw is acceptable which lead him to break up with black women consistently; however when it comes to a white woman she can be unattractive, uneducated, and unclean as long as she's not black it's acceptable because John is just so proud to have a chance with any white woman that she is incapable of having a flaw, she is perfection in his eyes.
• Lastly, what pinches the nerve of some black women where it concerns interracial dating is that as we can witness in the media and entertainment many black men seem to unconsciously feel that once you reach a certain level of accomplishment a black woman is no longer good enough and in order to know that he is a worthy man he must have as the Google search indicated "the best" woman, which in our society is projected as the white woman. It feels unfair to black women that they can be there for you to love you when you're a commoner, but not be your queen when you're royalty.

Check out a little of what Malcolm X had to say about black men as it relates to interracial relations near the end of the video below:

 

My Thoughts

 While I understand that the world in general has negative ideas about black people and even more so black women, it concerns me far more that black men would take the time out to dedicate YouTube channels and blogs solely to their hatred of black women. Are we not your daughters, mothers, sisters, and lovers? Are we not the same women made from your rib? If we come out of you and you are birthed through us then to hate us is to hate yourself black man. To see us as less then worthy is to see yourself as unworthy. We  cannot continue to progress if we don't love each other and create strong marriages and families. My hope is that we'll have a lot more black on black love and less separation merely because we feel our own counterparts aren't worth trying with or trying for. I would like to ask those black men who are doing these things to stop stepping over and on your black women, lift them up.  Nobody respects a man who doesn't protect his own.

Questions For Readers
Black men do you love black women, why or why not? Do you feel that black women are negatively viewed by black men and society? If yes or no, why? Why do you think there's a divide between black men and black women? Please share any of your thoughts and feelings below.

Recommendations: I'll be purchasing and doing a review of Hasani Pettford's book "Why We Hate Black Women: And Why We Should Love Them", so you may want to purchase it, borrow it, or check it out at your local library if it's available. I can't wait to get my hands on this book.

"Don't just be black, be proud of it"~Lola C.
disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any of the graphic media used within this blog.